AGNUS DEI

Ecce agnus Dei, originally uploaded by Nick in exsilio.

Lamb of God Born To Us
I attended the Christmas Cantata, AGNUS DEI, at my church tonight. Following is an excerpt from the front of the program.

Agnus Dei comes from two Latin words: agnus, meaning 'lamb' and dei, 'of God'. The traditional litany said or sung during Communion is:

Lamb of God who taketh away the sin of the world-
have mercy on us.
Lamb of God who taketh away the sin of the world-
grant us peace.

It is based on John 1:29, John the Baptist's salutation, "Look, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!"

In the history of God and man, two themes are juxtaposed: Man's sinfulness and God's triumph over it. The songbook of God's people is a liturgy of counterpoint: We fail, the future looks hopeless, but the Lord God Almighty reigns.

Nowhere have the two themes intersected more poignantly than at the moment the Lamb of God came into the world. Nowhere has there ever been sung a more glorious song than this: "Today is born for you, a Savior."

The music was beautiful. I was reminded of the greatness of God's love for me. It was a much needed moment of peace in the frenzy of activity that comes with Christmas and gave a lift to my spirit which tends to sink a bit during the Holidays.

Over The River...

I am thankful to be able to spend this day at home (dare I say it?) alone. No sympathy, please. It is my choice and I am also thankful my friends who invited me to dinner, thereby giving me a choice. Both my girls are busy elsewhere today and I choose to take advantage of some desperately needed downtime at home.

I am doing things that one does when at home with no demands - a little cleaning, a little cooking and eating, a lot of coffee (made in my French press, yum), and my favorite: randomly going through books and other "stuff". I recently brought out the old Childcraft books. They were published one year before me. I fondly remember my mother reading poems to me from the now battered Volume 1: Poems of Early Childhood. I want to share this page in honor of the day. Click on the image to view it full size.


Note: I had to play around with the scanned images in Paint Shop Pro to stitch them together. So I even learned something. I think, by George, I am nurturing my muse. Go figure.

Being Thankful Today

I have much to be thankful for
And I am

For family and friends
For food, clothing and shelter
I give thanks to God

Most of all
I am thankful to be loved
By a merciful God
For blessings, grace and mercy
Freely given to to one so unworthy
For the promise of eternity
To be lived in His presence
For the gift of Faith that came
With the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ
Who lived and died and lived again for me
For a heart that was changed
Jesus, I thank you

Pushing Through The Gap

Just one more, then I must get some work done. As you can see, I have been sitting here rambling around cyberspace. This video is from Ira Glass of NPR. He is talking about the gap between what is created and what is in the mind of someone who is new at their craft. It is so true. How many projects I have abandoned because the work did not meet my standards. Then I revisit it, sometimes years later, and wonder why I never finished. It's because I wanted instant mastery without going through the steps to get there. Hmmm, I think that applies to more in my life than art. That's food for thought, eh?



BTW, The Redhead Creates is where I stumbled upon this.

Building A Starry Night

I know. I never post anything. I have things to say. I really do. But, by the time I sit down here at night, my mind can't find them.

Life is good. I am struggling to finish unpacking eight months later (sigh), trying to find time for art and find my quiet time again. I am making progress in everything, though you might need a microscope to detect it. You see, I still spend a lot of time overwhelmed and doing, well, nothing.

Today I ran across this video while doing "nothing". I am lately amazed at the creativity found in some of the videos out on youtube. I love it. Enjoy.

I Feel Like a Bear...

...'cause I've been TAGGED by Loretta.

Here are the rules:

1. Post the rules on your blog
2. Write six random things about yourself
3. Tag six people at the end of your blog
4. If you are tagged, just do it and pass the tag along

Well, there are not six people left to tag because it took me a week to document my randomness. If anyone stops by and wants to play, just leave a comment with either your six or a link to your blog.

Six random things about me...

1. Entering my fifties was an extreme trauma for me. I was crushed by the realization that my life was essentially more than half over, that so many of the things that I would do 'one day' were probably not going to happen. With 53 rushing in this month, I find myself very content and mostly happy. I have begun to "do".
2. I hitchhiked to Atlanta when I was 17. That one is in the Top 5 stupidest things I have ever done! Maybe one day I will write a post about the adventure. Note to daughters, "Don't even think about anything so stupid!". (this might be news to them, ehem.)
3. I work in a beautiful yarn store a couple of Saturdays each month, for fun. I typically spend more than I get paid!
4. Fall is my favorite season and October, my favorite month. Go figure. My favorite day of the year is the first day that I notice the light has changed and the air feels and smells different.
5. Off the top of my head, these are my favorite fiction reads of the last 52 years. Just David, by Eleanor Porter (first read to the class by my 6th grade teacher), Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott (first real novel I ever read), A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeline L'Engle, LOTR Trilogy, by Tolkien, Gone With the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell, The Stand, by Stephen King, The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis, Zion Chronicles Series, by B&B Thoene and Zion Covenant Series, byB&B Thoene. I think these are in chronological order of my reading.
   
6. The plumber is in the other room lining the inside of my fresh air return so I won't get mold.

Is that random enough for you?

**Correction**
A random mistake - The guy in the other room was not the plumber. It was the HVAC guy.

Abandoned

Isn't it odd that when something catches your attention, you run into it again and again.

Yesterday, I was floating around in cyberspace and was drawn to a link to The Suitcase Project, which I found hauntingly fascinating. Long story short, suitcases found in the attic of an abandoned asylum, turned psychiatric hospital, held the stories of patient's lives before they were institutionalized. Some lived rich and full lives before they entered the hospital. All thought it a temporary situation. Most remained there until the end. Many were not even ill. They simply ran aground in life and had no one to help them get back on course. Go read some of the stories.

Then today, I went to see Belinda at upsidedownbee and there was Thrum Thursday post about Crazy, a book she read about the criminalization of the mentally ill in our country. And well, go read what she had to say. It's good, as always.

So, I've been thinking a lot about the people that get lost in life, abandoned by society. If the suitcase people lived today, they would probably be homeless. It makes me think about the value of the people that are put in our lives. There is nothing more important, after relationship with Christ, than our relationships with the people in our lives. We were created, after all, to be in relationship - with God and each other. It is a thing I need to remember as I stumble through life - I am not in it alone and that is good.

Speaking of....on Sunday I am going to pick up daughter #1 and we will travel to visit daughter #2 to deliver some needed bits of furniture for her new digs. And guess what exhibit is on display at a university library in #2's town? You guessed it....The Suitcase Project. Hmmm. Must figure out how to get them to let me go see it!

Random Ramblings

• Oxygen is showing the Olympic Equestrian events every evening. I really enjoy watching. If I had a "do over" in life, I might be there.
• One day you are cruising along down the road of life and the next day your world explodes and will never go together, just so, again. A co-worker is suddenly making decisions about what course of action makes sense to attack the malignant tumor that is growing in his five year old daughter's brain. Kind of makes EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM that me and all my friends deal with, well, not so big. My co-worker and his family have a positive and hopeful attitude. I am praying for miracles for them.
  
• I am working on turning my newly acquired 'extra' room into a studio. I have everything I need. Why don't I get motivated to unpack boxes and put everything in place? Maybe I am afraid of creating. I have what I have longed for, to have a place and the freedom to create, yet I am hesitant to run with it.
  
• I finally purchased a really good cantaloupe. Really good. That is one of my joys of the season.
• I must make a habit of taking my pooch out for long walks. We both need it. The weather is perfect. But I am in the mood to blog. Sorry, Abbey. Maybe tomorrow.
• I receive a daily email from Ransomed Heart Ministries (John Eldridge). A recent reading titled, The Power of Addiction, was taken from Eldridge's book, The Sacred Romance. Here is an excerpt,
  "This is the power of addiction. Whatever the object of our addiction is, it attaches itself to our intense desire for eternal and intimate communion with God and each other in the midst of Paradise—the desire that Jesus himself placed in us before the beginning of the world."

This really struck my heart. My life has certainly been touched by the addictions of others, the obvious ones. But I am asking God to make me aware of my addictions. The things that I run to instead of Him. Through the power of Christ, I can begin to run to Him instead of the temporary satisfactions that I seek.

These are just some of the things that are rambling around my brain lately.

I Didn't Know I Would Cry

Isn't she cute?, originally uploaded by candyknits.

My last little bird flew the nest today. She packed up her bedroom, loaded furniture and all, into her dad's truck and took off. What a bittersweet moment. She needed to go. It was time. She needs to be on her own. Try her wings. Find out they work. And me, I wanted her room. I need the space. My condo is not big enough for all her clothes. It is a one person space. So we come to this hard place where the change is. It is right for both of us but it is hard.

I took the afternoon off work and got home as the packing was wrapping up. They came in and cooled off for a minute and then they were gone. I looked around, into what was her room, and thought maybe I better leave too. Riding down the road wondering if she would ever live even near me again I felt my eyes begin to well up with tears. They surprised me.

I pray for her to fly straight and with a purpose. That is my prayer for both my chicks.

WORD.

Here's my Wordle.....

I Walked 2.72 Miles Today!

Thanks to Bee for the inspiration. She posted the tool below on her blog and I thought it looked like fun. So I started out by mapping the normal walk that my dog, Abby, and I take. Well, I lost all my exercise righteousness when I discovered that we were not even walking one mile! I will grant that one mile is better than no mile, but I have higher goals so I mapped a longer loop. I think that I will create several so that I don't get bored (or reported for stalking).


I thoroughly enjoy walking aroung the neighborhoods , imagining the lives inside the houses, admiring the architecture and the landscapes, and passing others who are doing the same thing. Abby needs the exercise and she loves the change of scenery after being crated all day. This needs to be a habit. I'll work on it.

Things are beginning to come together ever so slighly in my new condo. I am not good at finishing getting settled after the initial move. Well, I've had my "I'm not gonna look at the mess" time and now I am getting motivated to finish some things up. This weekend I started finishing up the paint job on the last six cabinet doors in the kitchen and.... I finally spray painted the door and drawer pulls and put them back on and I must say, they are lookin' good. I painted the cabinets white and sprayed the pulls glossy black enamel. I like it. I will post some before and after pics soon.

Right now I must find something to eat. Something healthy!

Tired Puppy

I feel the same way. I finally finished grooming her tonight. Gah! What a trauma for us both. But it is done and she is adorable. She is so sweet she forgives me as soon as I quit. Good dog!

It's bedtime for us both. I am going to compose a real post at some point. Promise.

Happy 4th of July

Uncle Sam is holding Baby H back in 1989, I think.

Happy 30th Birthday Yesterday!

I can't believe it's been thirty years. Man, we were both so young. I was twenty-two and well, S was around one. She had all my love and all my attention back then.

We've sure been through a lot of life since this photo was taken and I think we both have turned out OK. I am proud of her. I love who she has become and thank God for letting me be in her life!

One Word Answers

Found this on B's and everyone's blogs. All the answers must be only one word. It's really hard to give one word answers. As Lynn said in her musings, we all want to be known and well, with one word, we may not be understood. Ya know?

1. Where is your cell phone? charging
2. Your significant other? nope
3. Your hair? mess
4. Your mother? heaven
5. Your father? dunno
6. Your favorite thing? peace
7. Your dream last night? adventurous
8. Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Your dream/goal? art
10. The room you’re in? living
11. Your church? healing
12. Your fear? failure
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here
14. Where were you last night? home
15. What you’re not? slim
16. Muffins? english
17. One of your wish list items? retreat
18. Where you grew up? Asheboro
19. The last thing you did? lunch
20. What are you wearing? comfort
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pets? Abby
23. Your computer? using
24. Your life? good
25. Your mood? holiday
26. Missing someone? girls
27. Your car? minivan
28. Something you’re not wearing? shoes
29. Favorite store? used
30. Your summer? busy
31. Like(love) someone? daughters
32. Your favorite color? green
33. Last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? forgotten
35. Who will re-post this? mystery

Monday Meme (on Tuesday)

Tagged by upsidedownbee …

1. What were you doing 10 years ago? July 1998. I was beginning to relax in the knowledge that 20 year old Sara was pulling herself together in the adult world. Hannah was ten. We had no yet attended Sandhills PCA - first attended that August. I was still sorting out life as a single mom, had 5 years in, working at the manufacturing company that I continue to be employed by. I was doing a lot of business travel and learning a lot of new things.
2. Five Items on Your To Do List Today: 1) Complete comments on my mid-year review 2) clip Abby’s face (my poodle) 3) paint remaining cabinet doors 4) do laundry 5) go for walk with Abby
3. Snacks I enjoy: Cashews or Almonds, chips and guacamole, hummus, and fruit – that’s the healthy stuff. When I am weak – cake (nasty, bought, birthday cake with lot’s of icing), candy bars ( MMs, 3 Muskateers, Rolos, KitKat, Zero), oatmeal cookies…the list goes on and on.
4. What would you do if you were a billionaire? Exhale, keep a low profile and try to help some people that are struggling. Cars: pay off Sara’s, new one’s for me, Hannah, Jeff, Christine and Nancy.
5. Places you would live: Manhattan, Malibu, Villa in Italy where the movie, Enchanted April, was set, English countryside.
6. Bloggers I am tagging: Not tagging anyone but if anyone bites, please leave a comment so I can see.

Poetry Challenge from B

I am from clothes on the line,
From Swan’s Down cake flour
And Sears and Roebuck.
I am from windows open on summer nights
To catch a breeze while sleeping with my head
At the foot of the bed.
I am from the grapevine whose fruit
Mama turned into jelly for my toast,
Making playhouses in the woods with cool dirt floors.
I am from cakes baked on Saturdays
(with fights over who got to lick the bowl)
And Sunday dinners of fried chicken
And creamed potatoes,
From Claudia and Buford, Cheeks and Harwells.
I am from the sweet tooth and the night owls.
From anything worth doing is worth doing well
And I can't hear myself think.
I am from Greystone Baptist and Bible School
And covered dish dinners and Rev. Chapman.
I’m from Saxapahaw, Duluth, England,
Scotland and Ireland, from
Pinto beans and cornbread.
From the father who ran the Dixie Dew
Who died when we were both too young,
And the mother who lived to give to others.
I am from big ole portraits of us kids on the walls,
A box of pictures sent from deep down in Georgia
To a brother, a son, an uncle in Burma
(these show me the family I don't really know),
A blue sapphire ring *borrowed* from a drawer
Lost forever when it slipped off the six year old finger,
I am from photos of five young beauties
Lined up in one frame, cherished and admired
Beside Grandpa’s reading chair.
All reminders of days long gone. Reminders of what
I am from.

This might be my first poem-ever. Go over to upsidedownbee, where Belinda gives the backstory and provides a template to create your own. This was a fun exercise. It made me think and appreciate my life and my roots. If you do it please leave a comment so I can read yours.

The photo is my favorite family photo. That's my grandpa with the headache and grandma at the piano with my cousins around her. Aunt Rena is taking advantage of a chance to read a magazine!

Hey B, write me a story from this photo!

Monday Meme Out of the Closet

It is time for me to come out of the blogging closet and stop this lurking about. I saw this Monday Meme over at Sticking to the Point and thought that it looked like fun. I've enjoyed following a few blogs - some for several years. The adventures of Holli and Faith got me hooked way back when she was a single mom in Texas. I still don't know what my blog is going to be about-don't know if I have the writing skills to make it interesting. So I guess I will just post as I am led and see what happens.

Back to the meme. It's past my bedtime!

Here’s how you play:

• type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr search.
• using only the first page, choose an image.
• copy and paste each of the URL’s into the mosaic maker over at FD’s image maker.

The questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name.

1. Valentine's Ribbon Candy, 2. a fairy cake, 3. Asheboro High School, 4. Mallorca 2007 -- Waiting for summer (Part 2), 5. Queue the Sun, 6. Ice cold beer - he, 7. James Robert Beveridge, 8. Photo laide et sans but (pour les chacaux laids et sans but), 9. Free Freej, 10. New Neighborhood, 11. Dependable?, 12. What are you looking at?

Maytime

The aged winter fled away

Before the bugles of the May-
And Love, dear love, arose.
But when spring's glory goes
The lilacs of our love will stay,
For ever Maytime sweet and gay,-
Until the lilacs close
Beneath the deathly snows.

From A Severe Mercy
by Sheldon Vanauken

I am a Townie Now

I love it! I know that my sidebar says “The muse is in the woods” and the photo was my backyard, but I think my muse is in the village. I recently purchased a small condo in town, giving up my wonderful rental house in the country. I have never had so much trouble getting settled – unfinished repairs in the condo, things still in the rental, cable still not working correctly after four service calls – but I am so excited to be in town. Not just excited-I am content! I can walk my dog on my lunch hour (five minutes from work). Heck, I can walk to work at my Saturday job at my local yarn store. I can go for coffee or just walk around town and peruse the local shops. What fun!

Sunday afternoon I went to the public library and signed up for a library card. I spent some time there just wandering around. I had forgotten the contentment of just being there. I used to spend many hours in the library, fascinated by all the information available, reading magazines, enjoying solitariness of it all. Barbara W. Tuchman, historian and author said, "To a historian, libraries are food, shelter and even muse." Well, I am not a historian by any means, but I might have a little muse there.

And I have access to modern technology again. I have high speed internet access. Once I get settled, I hope to start blogging a bit. So, stay tuned for that.